Ridding Marik
by Mariku Thestral
Summary: Malik tries getting rid of Marik, his Mental Yami.But Marik catches on...What will happen to that cute bishie Malik? Not Yaoi. MalikOC BakuraOC
1. Enter the Insaneness

MK: Hey Marik!

Marik: Stares at MK

MK: What?

Marik: What are you doing to me this time?

MK: Oh, -;;...that...

Marik: I KNEW IT! YOUR GONNA WRITE ABOUT ME SELLING ILLEGAL CHOCOLATE AND TEA CUPS!

MK: Actually, no....

Marik: Then what is the subject?

MK: ;; Um, Marik, meet your girlfriend, Kanna. Pulls curtains back, revealing Kanna

Marik: Falls down anime style

Kanna: ;( am I not pretty enough?

Marik: Actually, she's kinda hot...

MK: Glad you like her!

Marik: Blushes I NEVER SAID THAT!

MK: You don't need to say it my friend -

Kanna: Smiles and huggles Marik Yay! he likes me!

Marik: Melts into a blushing puddle of mush

MK: I'm just gonna leave you two alone...Creeps out of room

**Just for Reference**

Marik = Yami Marik

Malik = Marik

Ishtal = Ishtar

* * *

Malik wandered around the house. The Ishtal house had never been so quiet. Ishizu and Odeon had left to their jobs in the Domino Museum, and that could only mean one thing...He was alone with Marik, his psychotic yami.

"Why me?" he moaned hitting his head against the fridge. Malik paused, wondering what sort of insane plan Marik was making to scare him out of his wits. The fridge made a squeak. He stared at the door to the fridge. '...he couldn't he?' Malik grasped the fridge door, and counted to five. He pulled the door open quickly bracing himself. Nothing happened. He cracked one eye open. Nothing except a chunk of cheese that looked to be ten years old. He laughed thinking how paranoid he was, Marik wouldn't hide in the fridge. He turned around and let his guard down. Marik opened the freezer door and jumped on his hikari.

"Got ya" He said laughing insanely

Malik pulled himself off the ground. "Why can't you just go back into the rod?"

"'cause I don't like it."

"I DON'T GIVE ,IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!" Malik screamed.

Marik tsked, "Someone needs anger management"

Malik fumed. "That.Is.It."

Marik stared at him "What?"

Malik grabbed the Millennium rod, stormed out of the house, hopped on his motorcycle, and drove away.

Marik nodded "Anger management"

At Yugi's house

Yami was running around franticly "ARGH! I LOST THE SLIPHER!" He tore up the couch looking under it , and behind it .Yugi walked in.

"Hey,....Yami..." He stared at the shredded couch.

"I ...Lost..Slipher..." Yami said from the floor, which he was tearing up.

"YAMI NO!"

"Must, find it...." Yami mumbled looking under the coffee table

Yugi pulled him up, "Its okay, I have it, Grandpa just wanted to see it."

Yami shook him violently, "WHERE IS IT?" he yelled.

Yugi quickly pulled out the card and gave it to Yami.

Yami purred and huggled it. "Ahh, my sweet card," He kissed it "I love you"

Yugi stared at him and inched away back through the door.

The doorbell rung. "I'll get it!" Yugi said opening the door.

Malik stood in the doorway, looking like he was ready to kill. He stomped into the house and grabbed Yami by the collar causing him to drop Slipher, "Pharoah, tell me how to get rid of Marik!"

Yami punched Malik in the face, who dropped him on the floor. "Slipher! oh, my poor little dragie wagie" He picked the card up gently "Malik is mean to my special, little dragon isn't he?"

Yugi sighed "Sorry Yami" He hit him over the head with a frying pan.Yami slumped to the ground.

Malik clutched his face where Yami had punched him. "Thanks"

"No prob"

* * *

An hour later

* * *

Malik held the ice on his brused spot.Yugi stared at him."So your trying to get rid of Marik?" Malik nodded." Why don't you just stuff him back into the rod?"

Malik exploded "HE IS NOT THE SPIRIT OF THE ROD! GET IT RIGHT!"

Yugi clutched the frying pan just incase.This was gonna take sometime


	2. Finding the Difference

M.T.- Hey guys! 2nd chappie up!

Malik-I like this chapter, im sly....Hey! is Kanna going to be in this one?

M.T.-.......Maybe.......

Malik- She'd better be!

M.T.- Don't you threaten me!

Malik- I may do what I wish!

M.T.- I'll erase you.

Malik- O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Ill be good.

M.T.- you'd better!

* * *

Review Section

* * *

M.T.-Wow! 4 reviews just for the first chapie?Thats great!...one can't really be called a review.I'm ussually not mean, but...gigaknight **YOUR A JACKASS**!And thanks kls for defending Yugioh and this Fic, and to answer your question, I have absolutly no idea on how to spell Slipher, but ill keep typing it like I do.Also big thanks to animeprincess1452 too! (her poems are great!). R&R!

Now on to the Fic!

* * *

Yami groggily opened his eyes.Two blurred images came into view, one snickered.He imeadiatly recognised the voice to be Malik. "DAMNIT MALIK! WHERE"ED YA PUT SLIPHER?!" he screamed and jumped up...or he did'nt jump up, because he was tied up to the chair he was sitting in.

"Calm down Yami!" Yugi's voice whined

"OH I'LL CALM DOWN, AS SOON AS I BURY YOU BOTH IN THE COLD SNOW OF ANTARTICA!!!" he screamed "UNDO THIS ROPE NOW!"

"But, Yami-"

Malik interupted him "Let me handle this Yugi" He stepped infront of him, "My dear, dear pharoah, so sorry to of tied you up like this, but as you can see, I'm here to talk buissiness." Malik paused letting the words sink in "The deal is, You help me, I'll help you."

"Ha.Ha.Ha. Very funny, but I don't need your help." Yami said turning his head away.

"But that rope looks awfully tight."

Yami didn't answer.Malik grinned. Time to take out the heavy artillery.

"And..." He whipped out Slipher "I'll give you back your Lame-o Dragon"

Yami jerked his head back towards Malik "GIMME, GIMME!" he said trying to snatch the card back.

Malik reached back his hand. "Is it a deal?"

Yami hesitated "Deal." Malik sat down on the couch,

"Great, now tell me how to get rid of Marik"

Yami laughed "You can't"

Malik stood up "Your joking right?"

"Nope."

Malik was about to explode...then he stopped, and rethought the situation.He smirked "Hmm, that's too bad, I guess I'll be leaving now." he said walking off and waving Slipher.

"NOOOOOOOOO, DON'T LEAVE!" Yami screamed

Malik stopped "A deal's a deal, since you did'nt help me, I won't help you."

"I LIED OKAY?"

Malik went back to the couch, "I thought so."

Yami stuck out his tounge.

"Well, lets get to the info!" Malik said impaitiently

Yami sighed and began talking."Well its kinda simple, lets start with the basics, You hate him, he hates you. He likes capes, you like capes-"

Malik cut him off "But those are similarities!"

"Exactly, Marik can't be your Yami, unless you both are the same." Yami said

"Well then i'll just change my favorite color to flouresant green!"

Yami snorted, "as much as I'd love to see you in a lime green outfit, it won't work."

"Why?"

"Because Marik can just change it to flouresant green too."

"And that means...."

"You need to change something about you that Marik can't" Yami finished for him.

"Are there any side affects?"

"Yep, he has 24 hours to try and change himself"

Malik got up and walked out the door,wondering about what he could change that Marik could'nt.

Meanwhile

"DAMMIT MALIK, YOU FORGOT TO UNTIE ME!"

Yugi picked up Slipher from the couch "Hey, at least he left Slipher"

"UNTIE ME NOW YUGI!"

Yugi inched away back through the kitchen door, leaving a very furious ex Pharoah, tied up in a chair.

* * *

Voila! Chapter 2 done! R&R!


	3. Solution: Found

OMG! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
ooooooooooooooooooooooo Gasp oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
ooooo sorry for all the delay! I live in Florida so all these hurricanes aren't doing any good. BUT Im back!

Malik- O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Marik- o.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Yugi- ...........

Yami- DAMN YOU WOMAN! IVE BEEN TIED TO THIS WOODEN CHAIR FOR WEEKS! I CAN"T FEEL MY ASS ANYMORE!!!!!

Malik- -snicker-

Marik- -Snort-

Yugi- Yami! we share the same body but I feel my butt!

Mariku- -Cough cough- anyway....to the reviews?

* * *

Review Section

* * *

Mariku- Okay Geriala said 

This one was a little easier to follow.. When you typed Marik, did you mean the evil guy w/da white hair and the millenium rod-thingy?

Okay she seems confused, but lets help!

Marik is the Mental insane yami of Malik He was the bad guy of Battle city.(Malik was too though) Adn they do not have white hair, Thats Bakura and Ryou.Marik has pale blonde spiked hair unlike Malik who wears it down.

Another one from Geriala

Um, when you wrote that Bakura had a potty mouth, I got kinda confused; Bakura is so cute and nice and sweet, other than when he's that freaky jerk who lives in his millenium ring, or whatever it is... And since when were Yami and Yugi seperate bodies? I thought Yami just lived in Yugi's puzzle

Okay in the japanese anime, Ryou (Bakura's first name) is the good guy the cute and sensitive one. he'll be in this chappie  
Now Bakura, he's the evil/good guy in the ring.He's one of Malik's friends.( he's taken a break from trying to rule the world) He's in this Chappie too

In Fanfictions People like to make the Yami's have their own body, it makes it livelier.

Okay now I hope you understand! TO THE FIC!

* * *

Malik slowly turned his house door knob, taking his time making sure Marik wasent sitting by it waiting for him to come home.He had absolutely no idea why he forgave the idiot for Battle city after all the things he had done, forgiving Marik was by far the stupidest.There was an omonious "creak" as the door opened.Malik froze and looked up a bucket of water was balenced on the door top, one more inch and it would of fallen on him. Malik smirked "Not this time Yami" he thought sliding though the door crack with ease. Being a vegitarian sure paid off. He made his way to the kitchen keeping an eye out for Marik."Jeez, I have to be on constant alert in my own house!" he thought angrily. Suddenly Marik appeared around the corner chewing a piece of what looked like his bed. 

"Where ya been?" Marik asked nosily

"Out" Malik responded

"Out where? The anger management facility?"

"No, just out" Malik said beginning to walk up stairs to his bedroom.Marik followed him twitching his nose.

"Your lying. You smell like the Pharoah and his pet." ("Pet" is Yugi) Marik snarled

Malik's step faltered. He turned "You smell people and remember their scents?!!!???" he asked incrediously.

Marik didn't answer and kept following him.Malik sweat dropped and climbed the last few steps.He reached his room and looked inside.

"Yep" just as he suspected ,a part of his bed quilt was gone. "How do you digest that stuff?!" he asked Marik who was picking his teeth.

"Would you like me to go through the details?"

"....no thanks" Malik said closing the door so Marik could'nt follow him inside.He sat on his bed and thought over what the Pharoah had said.

Meanwhile Dinner at Ryou's house

Bakura stared at the burnt piece of meat on the plate infront of him. 'You expect me to eat this..this....thing resembling a piece of charcoal?" he said angrily at Ryou who had retreated to the kitchen

"You'd better! its the only thing that looked edible in the fridge!" he called back "Exept for this piece of cheese cake."

Bakura jumped up "You give me frickin charcoal, and you get the cheese cake!? I DON"T THINK SO!" he stormed into the kitchen.Ryou was sitting at the counter.

"All gone" he said pointing to a plate scraped clean.Bakura exploded "ARRRGHH" he lunged at Ryou. Ryou ran out of the way

" 'Kura there was nothing there in the first place!" he said desperately while dodging his cruel and at the moment angery Yami.

Bakura stopped, and stared at Ryou. "Trenez karo gomea takana." he muttered in egyptian. (The translation would melt your ears so I won't tell you what it means) He grabed a coat and stalked out of the house. "Im going to Malik's! At least he can cook." he yelled through the door.

Ryou patiently waited for a minute before yanking the fridge door open, and pulling out a rather large slice of cheese cake. He took out a fork and was just about to dig in when he stopped."My what a guilty conscience I have." he thought "Oh, did I mentioned I lied?" he yelled to the empty house."Well I feel better!" he said happily and began to munch on the cheesecake.

Malik's house

Malik ran out of his room "Yes! I've done it!" he jumped up and down.A rather rude voice interupted.

"Stop jumping up and down like a school girl, your giving me a hernia." It was Marik.Malik froze."So, what have you done? gotten your self an anger managment appointment?" Malik glared, the doorbell rang.Malik sprinted down the steps and to the door. He opened it. Bakura stood there wet as a fish. Malik snickered, and Marik who had somehow appeared behind him ,snorted.Bakura glared ice daggers.Malik let him in.

"Err, d'you want a towel?"

Bakura nodded.Malik turned to Marik. "Get him a towel" Marik stood firm. Malik sighed "Its the least you can do after sending him to the shadow realm." Marik swore in egyptian as he walked to the bathroom.

"So ....what happened?"

Bakura wiped a water droplet from his cheek."Your damn water sprinklers went of when I cut through you lawn."

"ahh" Malik said nodding "Ishizu rigged them so they would go off every time someone crossed our lawn."

"Why in Ra's name would she do that?!" Bakura said growling

"To keep me from running the grass over, I used to cut through the lawn with my motorcycle."

"Joy"

Marik returned with a towel and Malik told Bakura to go to the bath room and dry off. "You can borrow my clothes when your done" Malik told him.

Malik went to the kitchen to cook dinner, which left Marik alone.He had three choices.

1) He could bug Malik by handing him the wrong ingredients.

2) He could go to the bathroom and whine about him needing to use the restroom and as soon as Bakura opened the door he would claim he didn't need to go anymore

3) He could chew on Malik's quilt

As he was thinking this over his eyes wandered to the window. A girl was screaming as she ran down the road, followed by a bunch of punks and motorcyleist.Marik cackled evilly.Suddenly the girl turned and kicked the closest guy in the groin.Marik doubled in laughter.Malik stuck his head out of the kitchen door

"What's so funny?" Marik couldn't answer because he couldn't stop laughing as the guy keeled over in the middle of the road.

Malik walked over and looked throught the window.Those men were obviously not that girl's friends.He pulled the Millenium Rod from one of his pockets and dashed out the door. Bakura came down the steps.

"What happened?"

By now Marik was on the floor laughing his brain out.Bakura stared at him for a long while before heading towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile

Malik called out to the guys chasing the girl. " Hey!" they all stopped, including the girl.Malik was going to just going to tell them to leave her alone, but suddenly they all charged at him like he was the bad guy of this scene. Malik sighed and pulled out the rod, They all flew away into the sky and dissappeared.

**_Mariku- Please excuse my laziness It with never happen again_**

Malik walked up to the girl

"Are you okay?" he asked. The girl stared at him half amazed half suspicious. "look I won't hurt you, are you from around here?" The girl shook her head.

"I'm an exchange student from America." she said in flawless Japanese. Malik studied her for a sec. She had shoulder length dark brown hair, and brownish gold eyes. She was dressed in a forest green tube top with black baggy pants.

"You want to come in for dinner?"She looked like she was studying him, before she nodded."Good" Malik said leading her into the house. Amazingly Marik was not on the floor laughing. He walked to the kitchen Bakura was already eating, he looked up at the girl, then at Malik and snickered.Malik ignored him and went over to the stove.

"I hope you don't mind me saying but,I'm a vegitarian." the girl said rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Well you don't need to worry 'cause so am I " he said handing her a plate filled with egyptian style vegitables.

"Wow!" she said taking the plate and sitting down by Bakura. He stared. She picked up chopsticks and began shoveling food into her mouth. Bakura stared harder. Malik stood by the table also starring. After finishing the plate she looked up at him.

"I'm Kanna, thanks for saving me." she said smiling.

Malik felt himself blush, "Err, um nice to meet you, my names Malik."

"Nice to meet you too." she turned to Bakura who had begun eating again. "What's your name?"

"Bakura"

Suddenly Marik walked in looking dazed ,probably from all the laughing.He took one look at Kanna and ran away with his hand over his mouth laughing again.

Kanna looked confused.

Malik rolled his eyes.

Bakura chewed


End file.
